Yajing Zhang

Peer critique for Brenda Mendez

Voice/Tone

This article has strong voice helps the article make every word count. The most important thing is really help her article to grab readers' attention and establish a relationship with them. The author use a pleasant narrative voice. I this article, I read some parts that are really impressive because her sometimes euphemism and sometimes sharp-pointed. Even though it is a narrative essay, I still can feel the humorous. Ex:"Their relationship was a "Peanut Butter and Jelly relationship." It is very visualize and vivid description.

Audience:

There is no specific audience. It is for general audience.The writer alter the organization of ideas, language, or overall tone to best fit that audience.

Evidence:

In the article, there are a lot of dialog to provided. It should be supported by external evidence that can be cited. The author uses a great variety of dialogs to show the evidence in the story.

Meaning:

The author narrated the story very well. It is very easy and clear to understand the meaning of the story. Also, the last paragraph is really shows what the meaning is.

Structure:

The plot, character, conflict, setting, style are completely appeared in the essay.The introduction described the details about the characters, plot is on flowing rhythm, characters are vivid, setting is clearly, climax is attracts readers, and conclusion is very impressible.

Organization:

The essay is well-organized and capture the reader's interest.The essay is essentially a story about something that happened and solved. The author gives sufficient details about the people, place, and events so that the reader gets a clear idea of how the author feels about them. In the essay, the author "motivated" and Scottie " begin to cry." These words indicate the scenario is very cool.In the final paragraph of the essay, the author reflects on the larger meaning and importance of the experience described.

Overall thought:

Overall, this is a nice narrative essay. The main points of this draft organized in a logical way. The author knows to be skillful in scenery portrayal, story narration, emotion expression and the use of smooth flow of the language.